This morning, almost ceremonially, I took down the 2 stars that we’ve had hanging in our front window representing our two sons, Dustin and Garrett, serving in Iraq. As of this morning, they are both home! It is an unfamiliar but very welcome feeling.

Throughout this time, I’ve learned so much about my love for them, faith, and my relationship with Christ. Although one of my primary prayers was for their safety and that they would stay close to their faith, my utmost prayer was that God would be glorified throughout their time in Iraq and that God’s presence and power would be experienced fully.

In order to fully trust God I sensed that I had to give Garrett and Dustin to God; that is,trust Him with their lives. I had to dismiss my worry and be done with it. Then I realized I had to give Jack to Him as well. Before I knew it, I realized I had to give God everything. I really thought I had done this already but in the face of adversity, the truth often shows itself. I finally resolved that If I lost a son, my husband, my parents, my job, my home, anything… I would continue to trust God – depend upon Him – have faith that Him. He who overcame the world would help me overcome any circumstance that may come my way.

As God sewed peace through my troubled heart, I found myself feeling guilty for being at peace. Did it mean I didn’t love the Dustin and Garrett as much as everyone else? Shouldn’t I be overcome with anxiety and angst? Would I feel differently if it were Jack? God soon answered my concerns and told me to accept his gift of peace – and not to hesitate to experience his joy. He wants me to have peace and joy, especially when I asked for it so desperately. So I found that it was through troubled times that I learned how wide and long and deep and high God’s love was for me.

Sometimes anxiety would creep into my nights like a thief robbing me of the sleep that I so desperately needed. Initially, I took it as a cue from God to pray but have since realized that God never gives us anxiety. I became a little obsessive in praying at night – insomnia became my bed partner and praying became a form of brainwashing myself to trust God, almost ritualistic. Finally, one night God impressed upon my heart to just rest…just rest… And He taught me about being still…

To experience the abundant life that God wants to give me, I learned to keep my eyes on Him! As I fixed my eyes and thoughts on Him, he showered me with peace and joy. He let me live above my circumstances (and I had more on my plate than Dustin and Garrett being gone). As I pried my mind away from my problems and fears and conscientiously, intentionally, and vigorously focussed on Him, my path became amazingly easier to walk and delightfully full of “God moments”.

Many of you have “prayed me” to this juncture in our lives and I want to thank you for those prayers. My heart has been changed and continues to be changed as a result of your steadfast faithfulness to pray for us all. I thank God for you and pray that you will be blessed as I have been with God’s abundant love and peace. And I do thank God, the giver of all things, that Dustin and Garrett are home again.